No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
