I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Can I color on your dick again?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
