sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
