I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
