You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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