The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize