I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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