Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
