Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
it's like iHOP with fire
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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