just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
