i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
