whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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