Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
