I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Randomize
