I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
