I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
