you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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