That's intense
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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