At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
