what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
