i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
