Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
