Its about making memories worth repressing
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
