I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
