Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
