Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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