Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
FUCK WHALES
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
