Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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