Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
