help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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