dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
