You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
My ATM looks so different sober.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
