an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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