In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
