Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(972): View more from Texas

Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?

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(612): View more from Minnesota

and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.

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(513): View more from Ohio

All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing

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(258): View more from

I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state

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(614): View more from Ohio

I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.

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(602): View more from Arizona

We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.

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(425): View more from Washington

Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.

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(630): View more from Illinois

Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?

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