school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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