And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
My feet surprised me
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