Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
