i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
