Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
