Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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