i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
