so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
