you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
