he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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