i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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