I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
