im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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