your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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