I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
She tied me up with her honor cords...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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