i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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