dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
