I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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