You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
