so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
