Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I smell like Dick and happiness
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
