I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
why is half of my head shaved?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
