Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
