There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
