I'm going to jail i love you
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
