Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
