I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
