True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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