Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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