I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
