I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize