like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Randomize
