Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize