there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Please don't give away my fajitas
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
